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Friday, December 30, 2011


This little adventure has not gone well...
Nothing I can do about that now, I suppose.

I wonder what the rules are for "breaking up" with someone online. I have the problem of developing "man crushes" on new friends. I'm absolutely crazy about the person for a length of time...then all of a sudden I feel like I can't put enough distance between us.
There could be several reasons for this.
1. I've spent way too much time on this person so, naturally, I would grow weary of him or her.
2. I subconsciously notice I have grown too close to this person and feel the need to detach from this possible source of pain.
3. I'm the love-them-and-leave-them type (in the friendship context, who knows what I could be in the relationship context) and have gotten all I want from the individual.
4. I'm fickle.
5. Once the man crush fades, I remember that the person is human which leads me into perceiving his/her behavior as unbearably annoying.
6.  I'm some kind of sociopath and therefore it is somewhere between difficult to impossible for me to develop deep, lasting bonds with another person. (My best friend would probably support this one...which makes one wonder why/how we have a mutual best friendship.)
By the way, I do have long term friends. XD They are the people I've managed to foster distinctly familial feelings towards.
Anyway, past break ups have occurred with a natural flow. Typically some event occurs, such as graduating, which makes the...loosening of ties...much more natural.
I'm not quite sure what to do now. I guess I'll continue ignoring this person. I'm sure that sounds pretty bitchy, but I figure saying nothing is better than whatever half-assed and probably ill-tempered explanation that I would give.

Maybe it would be better for everyone involved if I just run off and become a hermit.
Oh dear, I feel dreadfully sorry for anyone who ever tries to date me. You poor, poor bastard.

She howls,


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